The year was 1993 and I was in a puddle of tears. I was heartbroken due to another failed relationship. Though in a deep sorrow I saw a glimmer of something shiny, fluttering around my mind. It was a golden truth that I could grab if I would only reach out my hand. It was an understanding, a crucial choice that I got to make at this juncture. This experience could either reinforce my old familiar belief that I was inadequate, and that's why he broke up with me, or I could reject the thought entirely. I could open myself up to the idea that each breakup contained a lesson for me. Despite all outer indications, I could choose to believe in myself and my self-worth. I could use the whole experience to learn more about myself and in particular, what was most important in a mate for me. I'm so glad that this is the path that I took.
Two short years later I met the man that I would marry. But before that could happen I needed to learn a new, really important concept. One day I came across this analogy. It compared a relationship to glasses of water. Many people see themselves as half a glass of water and when they come together with a partner they form a full glass. That pretty much summed up what I had felt. The article went on to explain that the healthiest relationships are created when both individuals feel like full glasses of water. Which essentially means that each person feels whole within themselves. They know how to handle their emotions. They know what brings them joy. They're not perfect, but they realize that it's up to them to do the work. They feel whole.
So I went to work. I went to work learning how to love myself. This took many forms. I learned more about myself, strengthened my relationship with Spirit and learned how to be happy as an individual. I did the work and it eventually led to me meeting the amazing man that I married.
The work is never over. Actually it is fundamental to keeping my relationship healthy. I believe that learning more about loving others and loving ourselves is what we're here to do. It is our mission. Every relationship in my life has the potential to teach me more about love and to help me to grow. The healthier I feel inside, the more I can give wholeheartedly to others. The more I learn to give and receive love in my relationships the more whole I feel. It is a beautiful circle.
